Tiger Wasteland

This Sunday candy is another of those French Rugby players. Boy, they sure are hot!

Would anyone like to go with me. You know, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Yeah, right. If we went I would tell all about it right here.

Here is my own version of McDreamy! Seriously!

Link to site HERE!




(thanks fellow Kicking Ass blogger!)

Even Justin Timberlake is fed up with the price of gas these days. And he can afford it more than most.

Went over to Sis's after the daily grind for our Tuesday Nite Idol fix and she made some awesome enchiladas. Thanks, Sis!

Idol was a wierd call tonight, wasn't it?

We loved Chris (again)! Loved the whole Latin flair he gave to the song plus he is SO HOTT!!

Sis made the comment. "I would lay on the floor next to him!" when they were showing his pre-performance clip and they made him perform the song lying on the floor.

I so would too! We both cracked up. It was definitely one of those priceless moments that inspired this blog post.

Taylor was good but not his usual great self. We still only voted for him cause we want it to come down to him and Chris for the final two.

The rest were just so-so except for Elliott, who made Paula cry. She is still doing whatever extracurricular thing that it is she does. LOL! Remember last week, Simon and she must have switched cups because he was acting all goofy. Ryan said so!

Then I came home and starting watching Special Victims Unit (only because of Chris Meloni) and Dean Cain was guesting. He is still HOTT too!

And that is my story and I am sticking by it.

"Goodnight and sleep tight and don't let the bedbugs bite!" (That is a southern thang!)

Nice view of the beach!

Bubba is showering in a locker room with his buddy when he
notices his friend is very well endowed.

"Damn, Bob, you're really hung!"

Bob exclaims. "I wasn't always this impressive; I had to work for it."

"What do you mean?" Bubba asked.

"Well, everyday for the past 2 years, I've spent an hour each night rubbing it with butter. I know it sounds crazy, but it actually made it grow 4 inches! You should try it."

Bubba agrees, and the two say good-bye.

A few months later, the two are in the same locker room, and Bob asks Bubba
how his situation was developing. Bubba replied, "I did what you said, Bob,
but I've actually gotten smaller! I lost 2 inches already!"

"Did you do everything I told you? An hour each day with butter?"

"Well, we don't usually have real butter, so I've been using
Crisco."

"Crisco!" Bob exclaimed.

"Dammit, Bubba, Crisco is shortening!"

Something from the "I didn't know that already" files:

Tigers have highest paid staff in nation

The expectations are high for Auburn football this fall. The Tigers are considered one of the favorites to win the Southeastern Conference championship, along with LSU and Florida.

Auburn could even enter the 2006 season with a top five national ranking.

According to university athletic budget reports for the 2004-05 season required by the NCAA, and obtained by the Indianapolis Star, Auburn has the highest paid football coaching staff in the nation with a total budget of $4,938,831.

The Tigers barely topped perennial leader University of Texas, which paid Mack Brown and his staff $4,887,932.

Rounding out the top five nationally were Tennessee, Texas A&M and LSU.

Hell yeah! I can't wait for the fall!

Come join me on the porch. It's so steamy!

And then it becomes "Thelma and Louise" and morphs into "Grey's Anatomy".

(Editor's Note: The following is a brief synopsis of the past weekend. Some blanks are still left to be filled in by my loyal readers if they can convince the perpetrators to confess. )

Where do I begin?

Come look at my day and night HERE! And then come back for the story!

It all started with a simple invitation. Josie (aka Lady J) got us gratis tickets to go see the Georgia Force AFL game. Our friend Master P is a player on this year's squad. Last year he was on our own Rome Renegades squad and he got moved up to the big league. So we keep in touch. (He loves Sis's cooking!!)

So off we go to Hotlanta for the game. It was Sis, Bro-In-Law, Just Zack, Blondie, Josie and I. The tickets were in the private club section of Philips Arena and we started feeling a little bit special. They were friggin good seats down close to the action with the private bar above our seats that we visited quite frequently. (Shhh!)

Josie had the camera and I made her use it. I spotted some man meat on the football field. (Hello, I am still a gay football fan!) So we sat there and I made her take pics of my two favorite candy men. Number 93 was OMG! He had the cutest butt and thighs and arms and everything. And Number 81, a receiver was a close second. I hope the pics turned out well! They did (see below).

After the game, the party split up a bit:

Just Zack had to leave before the game was over because he had to go wait on the hotty toddy people that frequent his restaurant and tip him exhorbitantly (he wishes).

Sis and Bro-In-Law left to go and connect with The Good Doctor and his lovely wife because they had been invited to a special VIP party that we weren't privy to.

After the game, we met up at the VIP party goer's Hotel to kill some time and help them get ready. That would explain all the pics with the hair accessories. Those girls need their gay approval before going out. God knows their husbands are no help AT ALL! They just want to hug and kiss Blondie. (Busted!)

So it was Josie, Blondie and I left to entertain ourselves. I suggested we all go the gay bars and they immediately started panting like Geena Davis just saw Brad Pitt in his jeans looking really cute begging Susan Sarandon to pick him up and take him to the cheap motel so he could show Geena his best gun draw with a blowdryer. I was living the movie!!! Seriously!!

So we went to Barkhard's. It is one of my favorite places and it has a flawless patio. And that's where we ended up. And while we (Josie, Blondie and I ) were there, Just Zack called after work and wanted to join us. Seriously!!

(Here's where we went all shoot 'em up and blow 'em up on the rude trucker dude with the bad playboy bunny mud flaps.)

It seems that Just Zack got there without his ID. So we had to come up with a plan to get him in the gay bar. There was the door quy in the dark parking lot checking ID's. We met some guys there who were ready to help with our devious plot (especially after they met us). They alerted us about a possible scenario involving entering through the back patio fence emergency exit that had an alarm that most people ignored.

The plan sprang into action. He called when he was in the parking lot and Blondie went to the patio. Josie and I were just waiting for something to happen. They opened the patio door and got busted. The alarm went off and everybody at the front door (the one's checking ID's all came running around to the back.) Just Zack just walked right in the front door with our new friend while they were checking out the breach of security in the perimeter. It was friggin priceless. Gotta love Security. If we could pull this off, just imagine the possibilities. Seriously!!

He gets in and finds me and he looks down at his black Armani shirt, and asks, "Is this gay enough?"

I ask, " How the hell did you get him in?"

The new friend says, " We just pulled a Thelma and Louise."

And I knew I was in a gay bar. And it felt good. And it felt comfortable. And I had my favorite people with me. My nephew. My good friends, Josie and Blondie.

And then the show started. There comes a time at the beginning of all drag shows where they start testing the audience. You know! They are getting ready to decide it if it is a hostile or friendly crowd and they ask for any straight drag show virgins. Yep! I raised my hand and pointed to Just Zack and Blondie and they got pulled to the stage. You wil l have to view the pictures below to get the idea.

My nephew thought enough to kiss me on the cheek! (see pic) He said it was the best fun ever. (Thinking to myself: raising a more tolerant youth!)

And oh yeah, we met a HOT GUY! His name was Galen and he was straight. (see pics) He's the one that is in all the pics with all of us. And he was nice too!

And all was right in the world.

Until it came time to drive home to Rome. Seriously!!

Come look at my day and night HERE!

Aren't you jealous?

You should be!!

PS: Yep it is Sunday Night and I watch too much "Grey's Anatomy". LOL

PSS: I had a man crush on the guy in the red T Shirt that read "I love my Body" . He was a cutie!

Here is a copy of an email Bro-in-Law sent out after drinking mucho tequila at his surprise birthday gathering at The Good Doctor's house on Easter Sunday.

It pretty much speaks for itself:

Needless to say, we had a blast. They opened the pool early and we had a keg and everyone that was invited did indeed make an appearance. Oh yeah, we cooked lots of food and drank lots of beverages.

Today's Candy is Taylor. I love men that are wet.

Just Kidding!

It was time for you to go, Ace!

I know a certain Good Doctor's wife who is sad tonight!

You lost me when you did the cheesy pointing to your chest scar.

And my man, Taylor. An Auburn dude and from my home town being the one tonight with the free pass. You rawk!

I love American Idol! And that is really sad and probably why I am currently single. Sigh!

Friendship is like peeing your pants.......

Everyone can see it, but only you can feel it's true warmth !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thanks P & G for sending this my way!

Here is a link to some of the pics from our Murder Mystery Dinner last weekend.

How about a Cocktail?

Hello all my friends and lurkers. Sorry for the absence. Been a bit under the weather and busy over the holiday weekend with Bro-in-Laws birthday celebration. Details to follow soon.

Today's Candy was provided by my gal pal Nics from across the pond. He is Channing Tatum, actor currently seen in the movie, "She's the Man".

Last night, we all went over to Jackie D and Marilyn Merlots for Passover Dinner. This was my first experience with this traditional Jewish holiday and we had all the traditional kosher dishes and ceremonial activities and partaking of plenty of grape (wink wink).

We all took turns reading from the Haggadah and Jackie D commented that this was his first Passover that had someone with my name reading. We all laughed.

It was a lovely evening! If you have not experienced the traditional ceremonies of other faiths, I strongly suggest it.

This world would be a better place if everyone would step outside of the box every now and then and recognize that we are all different creatures and that is what makes this life's journey alot less boring.

This Sunday they are joining us for a traditional Easter gathering.

(Editor's Note: Soapbox rant is coming. Hide the kids and make sure that the faint of heart have the defibrilators handy!)

Last year right after the 04 elections, I was reading someone's political blog and they were talking about the gays being the wedge issue for political purposes. And it worked. And they boldly predicted that in 06, illegal immigration would become the new GAY wedge issue.

Boy were they right!!

Have you watched the news lately?

That's all the rave today. And quess what! Just before the 06 primary season gets in full swing!

WHAT THE FUCK?

Is this a new problem? HELL NO!

Are they using it as a political wedge issue to piss off the electorate? HELL YEAH!

And the mainstream media is doing its part to fulfill the corporate agenda to get the ratings so that they can sell their allotment of pharmaceutical ads that continue to dope us into oblivion.

I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!

Does anyone remember that this country would not exist without ILLEGAL immigrants. Yeah those of our ancestors who sailed across the ocean blue and staked our claim to a piece of land without any regard toward the people who were here first. The only truly Americans, our Native American friends, that we so callously sold into slavery or butchered or gave them diseases that their natural immune systems were not accustomed to warding off.

Oh yeah, that is before we had laws. So they weren't doing anything illegal. WTF? I call Bullshit on that too.

I cannot stand hypocrisy!

How come nobody is complaining about the illegals who constantly cross the border to the North.

Those of Asian and European decent. Right, they just don't happen to be from the ethnic group that is our largest minority.

Yeah, the only illegals come from the south! I call BULLSHIT on that lie.

Rant over. I feel slightly better now. And I know my fellow Americans should know Bullshit when it smacks them across the face and they can smell it up close.


UPDATE: Click below for a prime example of what I was complaining about.

Bust shows gaps in U.S.-Canada border
14 indicted for smuggling Indians, Pakistanis into United States

What a weekend!

We had been planning this for about a month and it was a huge smashing success. Sis had gotten a Murder Mystery Dinner game as a gift from a friend and we finally decided on a date to play and it was this past Saturday night.

It had a winery theme and the setting was the fabulous Underwood Wine Estates, which was the scene of the crime. We all had to show up in costume and everyone did fabulantastic, (still a word!).

Here was the cast of characters:

Ralph RottingGrape and Tiny Bubbles were our hosts. (The Good Doctor and his lovely wife were our hosts and their humble abode served as the party site.) They were the new owners of the vineyard so their lovely home was the scene of the crime.

Hedy Chablis (performed spectacularly by our lovely friend Betty) Her character was a vineyard competitor of the Underwood Estate and she was described as a hippie type flower child.

Otto Von Schnapps (performed by Betty's hubbie, Marco with Oscar winning zeal) His character was a German type dude with lederhosen, suspenders, and a feathered hat.

There was Marilyn Merlot (former Wine Princess who is now a low rate B-Movie Starlet slash whore who may or may not have been involved with the dead guy) She was played to the tilt by Aubie Junior's mom, Lady J. She wore the equivalent of the Ginger dress from Gilligan and had a tarnished tiara to boot. What a riot!

And then there was Papa Vito. He was supposed to be played by Lady J's new boy toy, Joey but he was out of town. So we had to call in our own Boy Toy, (slash Cabana Boy) Cooter Brown. (I will have to tell you the story of our first meeting with Cooter Brown for real in a later post.) His character was the father figure that tended the vines (in more ways than one).

So are you getting the picture yet?

Oh yeah, we were there too!

Sis was Bonnie Lass, a Scottish tourist mystery writer who was there just for the party (not a suspect) and Bro-In-Law was FBI Special Agent Bud Wizer (also not a suspect). They chose these roles only because they had done this before and wanted the others to have all the fun.

What about me?

Well, Blondie and I were the Staff of Underwood Wine Estates.

Someone had to be the party coordinator (me) and I wanted her to be my wait person. And we got to have fun watching the mystery unravel. Plus we put together the meal and served it and decorated so that the characters could play their parts. Wait until I post the pics!!

After the murderer was revealed (Papa Vito) we all got in the hot tub and stayed until 3AM.

(And yes, The Good Doctor eventually turned into Dr. Feelgood.)

And that's how I spent my weekend. And I can honestly say that I would not have had that much fun with any of the gay people I know. But those straight guys told me that they would not have had as much fun if my GAY self had not been there. Yep, I am doing my part to spread the GAY agenda. You know, the one where all those wackos are saying that we are trying to turn people gay. You know Gay IS the new straight. It is much more fun! Ha-Ha!

Wanna play water polo? Come on in the water's warm!

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer.

The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed and placed in a holding cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk."

"I assumed you had stolen the car."


Priceless!

Congrats to fellow SEC team, Florida Gators for winning the National Title in Basketball.

By the way, I did not realize that the Noah guy on the Gators team was the son of a famous Tennis Ace named Yannick. So kudos to father and son.

Another championship to go with Auburn's Men's and Women's Swimming National Championships.

Let's hope next fall's Football Title returns as well. Hopefully for my orange and blue Tigers and not Brett Cajun's purple and gold Tigers. wink wink

In honor of Major League Baseball's opening day, well the Atlanta Braves anyway.

Came home tonight and was channel surfing and found that Larry King had Bill Clinton and Randi Rhodes.

How could I pass that up?

Mr. Clinton was flawless, as usual.

And then he had a round table discussion with talk radio hosts. Two from the left and two from the right. (Fair and balanced like FAUX news used to claim.) Is it just me or did anybody notice that they stopped using that slogan a while back cause it was so unTRUE!

Well the Right lost against Randi Rhodes and Ed Schultz. They had some Martha somebody from here in Georgia and someone else who I didn't recognize representing the conservative side. I guess Sean Horrity and Rush Limp Paw were not available.

Randi Rocked! I love her. Be sure to check her out on Air America Radio.

Rant over!

I had LSU picked to win the whole shebang on my Bracket.

I had Florida and LSU picked to play in the championship game.

Florida did their part. (Damn Gators).

But the Bayou Bengals let me down big time. I blame Brett Cajun for being so cocky. (just kiddin').

Anyway, the SEC still has one of the final two in THE GAME on Monday night. I hate those damn gators from Gainesville (being an Auburn Tiger) but I will be pulling for them anyway.

I have had a revelation. A personal epiphany!

I woke up today and discovered that I am no longer attracted to the same sex. Oh No! I am not gay anymore.

No more lusting after my favorite eye candy hotties?

No more linking to fellow bloggers of the same sex persuasion?

What the F**k happened?

Oh no, I turned around and looked at the calendar. It happens to be my Mother's birthday. I wish she were still here with us. I miss her dearly.

Is that what happened?

Oh yeah, it just happens to be April Fool's Day. (Mom's Birthday.)

Mom, this post is for you and I know you are smiling down on me from above and I feel your presence daily in this chaotic live that you left us with. By the way, I think Sis would approve of this post. We Love You MOM.

I was right about my prediction for the American Idol reject: Lisa Tucker! So there!

Next week's prediction: Ace. If he continues to be cheesy [Dude, do not point out your flaws, I mean Scars] and continues to sing bad songs.

Next week's theme is country so Bucky and Kellie will probably get a free pass.

Hey don''t fault me for watching and getting hooked on America's top rated show.

I am personally responsible for getting my family hooked too.

And corporate America thanks me. Especially FOX and their advertisers.

Something about this makes me puke a little in my mouth. Just sayin'.

Wow!

Okay, so Just Zack has gone off to college now and he came home for the weekend tonight and we met his new girlfriend.

We LOVE her!

They are cute together. We went out to dinner tonight and they met us there. She drove all the way from Indiana (11 hours) to meet us. We felt so privileged!!

(Editor's Note: She is also going to the same college and she came down to scope out the living arrangements and to register for classes. )

Anyway, after dinner we came back over to Sis"s house and she learned about the BLOG.

Just Zack wasn't sure if she was ready for it, but after telling her that it was the only way to get to know the REAL us, she had to see it!

When they left, I got a hug from the both of them and I am still the Cool Gay Uncle.